'American Idol': Trying to Stay Alive

Blake Lewis: He ain't heavy, and he's no Gibb Brother.

Tuesday's guest host/mentor was one of the Bee Gees, who wrote and produced some great pop/dance music from the late 1960s through the late 1970s. It was a welcomed change from last week's trudge through the Bon Jovi catalog.

The Gibbs Brothers' history is as dark and tragic as it is bright and successful. In 1988, the youngest brother (and non-Bee Gee) Andy died young and unexpectedly at 30; in 2003, Maurice, died older and even more unexpectedly at 53 from cardiac arrest due to a twisted bowel.

For this week episode, Barry Gibb visited "American Idol," one of the most popular shows in American TV, and listened to the four surviving "Idol" contestants do some grave and unfortunate things to eight songs in the Gibbs' very accessible and tuneful music catalog. The lesson that no one seems to learn: Sometimes you just need to leave a good song alone. The roll call:

Melinda Doolittle: For some reason, she picks the irrelevant  "Love You Inside and Out," which is like pulling "Octopus's Garden" from the Beatles' catalog. It's not a great song to begin with; she half-hearts it and gets mediocre grades. The Obsequious Twins are typically non-committal in their disapproval. Randy: "I'm not jumping up and down ..." (as if he could); Paula: "You're vocals were spot on." Simon Darkheart: You sounded like a background singer.

Blake Lewis: He picks "You Should Be Dancing," from the era-defining "Saturday Night Fever" soundtrack. Seems like a good fit for a guy who's all about image and style instead of talent and substance. He has arrived with another affect: a skunk stripe in his blackened hair. It does him no favors. He whiffs hard. Desperately falls back on the beat-box shtick, like Dennis Hopper snorting his nitrous oxide in "Blue Velvet." Randy comes up with his best line of the year: "It sounded like some weird foreign disco." Paula tries to be kind: You were pitchy ... but you're unique. In other words: "You suck like no one else." Simon: A loud Bronx cheer.

LaKisha Jones: Will probably get fired Wednesday -- and deservedly -- for what she did to "Stayin' Alive," irony intended, I guess. Even numbed-brain Paula is miffed at how she sucked the blood out of a funky pop/dance tune.

Jordin rules: If she's not the front-runner, she's close.

Jordin Sparks: Picks a great song, "To Love Somebody," and treats it appropriately. Starts off strong and finishes with a Whitney-meets-Aretha flourish. All three give it warm praise. 

Round 2

Melinda Doolittle: Picks another perfect pop tune, "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart." Starts off slow and dull, like a Gladys Knight throwaway, then shifts into Tina Turner gear. Paula brings some fine praise: "You sounded like Stephanie Mills." Simon: You are moving on to the next round.

Blake Lewis: Makes a grave tactical error by picking a song few people have heard, "This Is Where I Came In," which may be where he goes out. It's a dull, nearly tuneless song that can't be resuscitated by his meager attempts at making it "contemporary" by tossing in some beat-boxing (which is as old as the Bee Gees). Darryl & Darryl get into a spat about that. Randy: Just because you can do it doesn't mean  you should do it on every joint (he means every "song", not "spleef"). Paula: "If he can, he can." After that Algonquin Roundtable exchange, she says to Blake: "You're a contemporary rebel," which sounds like a death knell to me. Simon rings the bell of truth: A bizarre choice of song. You are in trouble.

LaKisha Jones: Picks another good song, "Run To Me." Her torch-ballad version is safe but lifeless, forgettable. It's obvious, though, that producers off-camera are letting the judges know that time is short, and so are the critiques. Basically, they all say, "It was OK," the way you tell a waitress at a diner that you enjoyed your microwaved hash browns. She's in trouble, too.

Jordin Sparks: Takes on a song made famous by Barbara Streisand, "Woman In Love." It's too big and over-arranged, made for a 30-something diva. She handles the big notes, but there are too many. She sounds like she has caught what was ailing LaKisha Jones a few weeks ago. Maybe it's a size thing. As she awaits the jury's verdict, she looks like she could fold Ryan Seacrest like a flip-phone and stick him in her purse. Judges give her three weak thumbs-down. Simon: It was old-fashioned. Act your age. Yep.

Tomorrow: Blake or LaKisha goes home.

Comments

[rumi462001]

I agree with much of what you say..One thing about Melinda is she doesn't seem to have a vast repertoire of hand and body gestures..she is the same singer each week..it is getting old..she has no range of presentation..it's the gospel/blues singer and thats about as far as it goes..plus she always gives that deer in the headlight look while being critiqued..As far as Blake goes..he has just ran out of gas..he may have taken his "chance" too soon because now the beat bop licks he does almost seems forced at times..I never felt the men were even in this competition and Blake certainly is not the best singer of these 4..I agree Lakisha is prolly on her way out..she is another that has no range or scope and tries to fit her presentations in the same ole bottle..her presence of a soul force has dimmed..it's goodbye..followed soon by Mr. Lewis..unless enough of the younger crowd can carry him...coming down the home stretch I think Jordin is leading the race..it is hers to lose..will she stumble through youthful exuberance and make a big mistake..Melinda as a saesoned songstress journeyman is on her tail..but I am thinking the kid takes home the gold

[Wadkc]

Ace from Season 87, is this year over yet?, is the only one that could have pulled off a good Bee Gee's tune. Maybe he could come back, like a Survivor episode, and compete again. He DOES have the hair remember.

Is it me or did Barry Gibb age 23 years in about 5. Either he has given up trying to keep up or he's been illin' (but not in the Run-DMC kinda way).

I wasted good DVR space last night recording Idol. It was bad all the way around. When seeing Judge Judy's the highlight, we've got trouble....

[ray]

As usual, a spot-on critique, Tim. Last night's show makes me appreciate the Bee Gees' talent that much more--those guys could write AND sing. You called it: Blake or Lakisha; I'd guess Lakisha.(Small correction: the song is actually titled "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart")

[Chris Foster]

Can you say

BYE Lakisha?

Blake was just above average. He pulled the beat box card out one too many times.

Melinda. OK so it wasn't her best night. She hasn't had many bad ones. She gets a pass

Jordin rocked it out da house!
I still think she will be 2nd. People LOOOOVE Melinda and her sweet gentle nature. If Taylor can win, she can definitely win!

[wholesale sunglasses]

Very interesting article. It’s funny how history can be twisted in so many different ways. These photos certainly give us clues, but I guess we’ll never know the true story. . .