'Idol': Rock 'n' roll dies a little

For what he did to Marley and Dylan, Jason Castro will most likely be sent home.

Tonight was "Rock and Roll Hall of Fame" night. Each contestant was allowed to raid a vault of 500 songs deemed influential by the music museum in Cleveland and come away with two. To prevent a calamity like last week's, the contestants were judged after each song.

As Squeakcrest introduced the concept of rock and roll and showed off the building that celebrates it, a freaking Kiss song ("I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night ...") played in the background. How appropriate.

This should have been a night of invention or innovation. It wasn't. Instead, we got mediocre re-invention, predictable covers and upscale karaoke. We also saw one poor contestant implode and incinerate into ashes right before our eyes. The roll call:

Our man David Cook leads off with Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf." I don't like the pick at all. Too many "doo-doo doo-doos'" and the melody is pretty flat. He prepares it the usual way: a little mustard, no relish. It's just fine and safe: No big moment, nothing memorable. Randy: It was OK. Paula uses a new word, "flourish," and says something like the wolf gave her a big appetite. (Watch your back, Mr. Cook.) Simon is nonplussed. "It was good but a bit copy-cat." No damage done, but no momentum gained either.

Syesha Mercado:  She admits during her explanation/rationale that "Proud Mary" has been covered 100 times; she doesn't admit that a few of those renditions are iconic. Unless she turns it into a gospel-rap-bluegrass number, there's nothing she can possibly do to make her version sound special.

She looks great, as sexy as a young Tina. Doesn't sound much like her, though (but I was watching more than I was listening). It's fine at first, gets a little screechy at the end. She survives it without a major mishap. Randy: He's way off tonight. Says she was "in the zone." Paula: She is actually more clear-eyed, concise and articulate tonight than she has been all season. She liked it. Simon: No fun. It was bad, shrieky. He's a little harsh but more accurate than the other two. Then Sqeakcrest to Randy: Why the big difference between you and Simon? Randy: He's from England, I'm from Louisiana. Nice punch line but it wouldn't hold up later.

Jason Castro: He picks Bob Marley's "I Shot the Sheriff." Right off the bat it's disastrous. He massacres it with a bright horn-laden/funk arrangement, and he looks amateur doing it. He's strumming his guitar, but I'm not sure he's playing it. It was horrid, so bad it makes me wonder how he got this far. Randy: You bad, very bad. Paula: She admits she's "not crazy about it," but gives him head pat: "Your artistry shines through" -- even when you suck eminently. Simon: Stand back, dude. It was atrocious, a first-round audition massacre. Ouch.

David Archuleta: He's the youngest of the bunch by far, but before he opens his wide, toothy mouth I'm assuming he's going to pick the oldest songs of the night -- something safe and satiny. His first: "Stand By Me." (Yawn.) He says he loves the song, loves to sing it in his room, to himself or his dog. I can hear it now. He plays it perfectly straight, as in dull. Hits all the notes, lays down a few runs, but sounds a bit pinched when he goes falsetto. He bores me; it's all too measured, clean and soulless. Randy goes overboard: "You're trying to win it! You brought the hot-man vocals!" Paula: She commends him for keeping his eyes open, as Andrew Lloyd Webber ordered, but doesn't say much about the performance. Simon nails it: After Jason's train wreck, that sounded great. It was really just OK; you struggled at the end.

Round 2

David Cook: Picks a huge one, "Baba O'Riley" from one of the Who's greatest albums. The problem isn't his voice, which is good, or the modern-rock/post-grunge arrangement, which is good, too. It's the time limit. He doesn't reach some of the better parts of the song -- a verse and a chorus and he's done. It's good, livelier than his first number. Randy continues his bad string of reactions. He calls it a strange night for Cook and advises him to "shake off" something and be the rocker he is. Paula: I want more. Simon: Welcome back.

Syesha Mercado: She picks "A Change is Gonna Come" and explains why: She hit the Web and did some research on the song and its era. She says its meaning touched her and she related to it, then she proved she wasn't blowing smoke. Her landing was a little bumpy, but it's one of her best performances. She won't be another Fantasia -- her voice is sweet and fluid but it lacks the power to puncture the stratosphere. Regardless, it was good, one of the best of the night. Randy, irrationally, goes hard the other way and for odd reasons: doesn't like the arrangement or the vocal, doesn't like her messing with a Sam Cooke song. Paula stands and applauds her: "Welcome to your dream. That was fantastic." Then Sayesha starts to cry, not soft, controlled weeping, but make-a-face bawling and nearly sobbing. The song, she would say, got to her. Simon has a great poker face so it was hard to tell which way he was leaning, but as she is gathering herself, he goes soft and tells her: I agree with Paula.   

Jason Castro: Having defiled the memory of one legend, he takes on another: Bob Dylan. I'm embarrassed for him before he starts singing "Mr. Tambourine Man." He does absolutely nothing with it; just strums a guitar and sings, like some half-assed subway busker. Then he muffs a few lines of lyric -- the death knell. Ugh. The judges aren't sure what to say, except Simon: Start packing. Unless David Archuleta comes out in a cone bra and raps "Like a Virgin," Mr. Dreadman has whispered his last song on "Idol."

David Archuleta: Picks another oldie and an Elvis one, at that: "Love Me Tender." No baby-faced 17-year-old in the world is going to sell this song to me, no matter how deferential he is. It's all sweet and velvety and cheesy. He bloats it with runs, so much that he flirts with losing the melody. He tries the falsetto again at the end and cracks, but it doesn't matter. He sounds like a teen idol, and the place goes crazy. Simon punctuates the verdict: You didn't beat the competition, you crushed it.

Wednesday: There ought to be absolutely no suspense. Mr. Castro dug his own grave and jumped in it.

Comments

[Boba Phat]

"I Shot the Sheriff" and "Mr. Tambourine Man"? Can you get any more cliche?

I'm convinced the dude was baked.

[Mary]

Surely...surely...surely, Jason couldn't believe that wearing phony dreadlocks gives him license to sing Bob Marley's theme song!!! His performance tonight was...uh, well, "DREADful".
If the Sheriff does't shoot Jason's tambourine and guitar off Idol Wednesday night, and Jason along with them, I've watched my last episode.

[Vandelay]

I was disappointed to hear so many ballads on what I thought would be a "rock & roll" theme night. How interesting would it have been to see Archuleta sing an actual rock tune? I guess "Sweet Caroline" is as rock as he's ever gonna get. But I suppose he played it smart because he's re-emerged as the front-runner.

I agree that time limits hurt "Baba O'Reilly", which should have been a home run shot for David Cook. It wasn't as bad as Michael Johns' abbreviated "A Day In The Life", but it was still a bit awkward.

Jason unquestionably needs to go home. I get the feeling he wants to.

[kcneon]

Happy that I didn't watch this round. At least the 'rocker' played some rock.

Anyone know if the time limit on their songs is different this season? It seems like they should be alloted an extra :30 (at least) per song as the number of contestants drops. I thought they use to do this in season's past.

[Tom]

I don't think Jason was really in this to win it from the beginning. Then when he got some momentum and when he got as far as he did he started to see how far he could push the envelope (i.e., screw up) before he got kicked off. Now he'll be gone. Too bad, because I'd listen to him before I'd listen to Sayesha or little David.

[Jerry]

This is, after all, American Idol. Every season there is a guy that goes alot farther than he should on his looks that the teenyboppers fall in love with and keep alive with votes. This season, Dreadful is the guy.

On that alone, I'm 95% sure that he stays and Sayesha goes home tonight.

As if this was a singing contest. Heh.

[Pam]

From what I've seen, David Cook is the only remaining contestant that has any stage presence blended with consistantly good-to-great vocals! Syesha can twist her booty but is shrieky like Simon noted. If you close your eyes and just listen, you'd know she couldn't sell records w/o video. David Archuleta has a really nice voice, but once he's sung one song, you've pretty much heard all he has, and there's that lack of audience connection aside from the Teen Beat crowd. David Cook can rock the house, connect to the audience, and is listening pleasure. OH, and he can articulate his thoughts (David A either has no thoughts or at least cannot convey them well) with a touch of humility, as opposed to Syesha's absurd comparison of her Idol journey to that of the civil rights movement. He's got the whole package that I think would be required to be crowned "Idol".